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Depression ….. An Honest Blog Entry (Maybe it can help someone else)

“I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel” ~~ Unknown person on Depression

I , like many other ladies/men in this industry hide our imperfections, both physical and mental ones. I as everyone is aware try and usually succeed at being the strength of everyone else, the voice of wisdom, the sex work momma bear. I do not regret for a moment helping others in any way I can and I do this while running a web company, two of them ( things are slow currently) and also assisting and being a mom and a grandmom. I have had the weight of the world on my shoulders for a long time and I am strong as nails but I guess right now God , or my body or whatever you believe in is trying to force me to see that even I need refuge and relaxation sometimes.

My mother was bi polar, I had postpartum depression twice, and I have had 3 relatives commit suicide. I myself tried when I was 17. My 15 yr old son suffers with bouts of depression and my 29 yr old is bi polar. So you see, I am not a  stranger to the monster.(It is hereditary in my family) I myself usually self medicate with Cabernet Sauvignon and keep it moving. However this bout I am currently experiencing isn’t helped with wine. Don’t get me wrong I have moments of the day where I can laugh and where a good movie or something my kids do or say can make me laugh or smile but I think the stress of the last few years of my life , especially this last year have kind of affected my mental state.

I am used to being super busy, or atleast consistent escort wise, and a little more busy web work wise too although I do have two projects to work on beginning tomorrow. Which is why I am cleansing my thoughts and using my blog as self therapy today to hopefully just let some of this out so that tomorrow maybe can be a better day. I need to rest today and just try to find a place of calm within my own head BUT I need from here on out to be as busy as possible, being busy helps me stay focused and helps me stay happy. Like my mom mom always said “an idle mind is the Devils workshop” and escorting has been slow and I hate that I truly put so much of myself into it , and into being professional only to be greeted by and deal with men who don’t appreciate it. Men who cannot understand the importance of screening because honestly that is my biggest business loss is men who won’t screen. I also wish men understood rates, and that they are individual and to not try to bully or force me or other ladies into conforming to some bullshit , low rate because Jane Doe allows it. I won’t do that. My rates are mine, her rates are hers.and honestly mine aren’t that high.

I am getting off topic, I just want anyone reading this who suffers with depression, or mental illness, or eating disorders any of it, to know you are not alone and plenty of us who come off or who show ourselves as close to perfect or stable or all together often are not!! I AM NOT! I am a work in progress just like anyone else. I am blessed to not have the “inner demons and traumatic experiences”so many have suffered but trust me , I too am broken in my own way.

I guess aside from just needing to vent myself , I just want anyone who is experiencing a rough mental time right now to know I am here. We can talk to each other.
AND THAT OFFER GOES TO MY CLIENTS AS WELL, I KNOW EACH YEAR SOME OF YOU GO THROUGH DIVORCES, AND/OR ARE AWAY FROM YOUR KIDS AND FAMILIES , HELL WE CAN KEEP EACH OTHER COMPANY AND MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE. My clients are NOT just numbers to me, I really try to connect and get to know each of you.

This can be a tough time of year, I know for me , I have to try to kind a way to get things I need to TOUR beginning in Jan, to make sure me and my family are afloat as well as provide my college daughter, and two other kids who are still in the nest a good holiday because they do NOT deserve to be anything less than happy and smiling at Christmas regardless of what is happening to me. They always are my main and first priority. I am not superwoman though even tho my branding says I am, lol. but I have to do all of that and still pay rent etc, so trust me I GET IT!

The burden during the holiday season is especially taxing and tough, just again… know you are not alone, both sex workers and clients!

Let’s all take a deep breath, breathe in breathe out and say we are going to be alright!

xoxo

Storm

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Seductive Storm Atlanta and North Georgia's Premier VIP Full Figured Beauty. Touring Abroad Winter/Spring  2018

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