Consent and Different Types of Rape

My opinions are often either loved, or hated.  I own the fact that I am strongly opinionated and that at times to those who do not know me personally or do not know me well personally that I can be polarizing. It’s ok.. no problem, I will however always speak my truth, it’s important to me to do that… so here we go.

What is Rape?

Rape to some must meet the condition of an act of brutality or violence…

My mother was raped by SEVERAL men and I was sexually assaulted if I am honest twice in my life. I was not beaten but I said no, I cried, they didn’t listen and they continued their act without my continued consent. ( I’ll get into that in a bit)  The point is, I am far from insensitive to rape, I have 5 kids, 3 of them girls and a granddaughter. I am a strong anti- rape advocate, that’s why I feel it’s so important to explain consent to you all and how ANY removal of that is WITHOUT QUESTION RAPE.

What is Consent?

I am going to explain this frankly and to the point …

Consent is me agreeing to something.

Consent in this industry, (even though we all say in our disclaimers, its not a contract etc) is in fact if you will a kind of unspoken “agreement” or contract. Most of us agree to engage with you on certain “unmentionable for legal protection” levels for our promised “gift”.

This gift may be a car, a home, payment of monthly allowance, and hourly fee, … so many different agreements but all with the same end..

Use of a condom , or agreement to certain parameters of play are also items that must be provided for in consent.

You provided me with an incentive to suddenly spend time with you and to treat you like the king of the world.


if you do ANY of the following and of course if you FORCEFULLY TAKE SEXUAL ACTION without permission its rape ( and even if she or he agrees in the beginning and then changes their  mind YES YOU MUST STOP OR ITS RAPE)

Here’s a short list not an absolute list of things that constitute rape

PLEASE understand think of it this way ( not to trivialize it at all…) but a white lie is STILL a lie, a slap is still assault the same as getting beat w a bat. Rape and abuse have different forms as well.

The list:

  1. Doing a charge back
  2. Paying with fake bills
  3. Shorting a  companion
  4. Taking a condom off without permission
  5. Forcing any action or service she or he already said was off limits
  6. Filming and then publishing a sex act without her or his consent
  7. Lying about your sexual health , hiding a disease knowing that if the person knew they wouldn’t have consented.

You see in relationships we site verbal abuse, mental abuse( emotional abuse), physical abuse and financial abuse.

I strongly believe and stand behind the belief that rape and sexual assault comes in many different forms.  To some of you that may not be your thought process but I remember the sick feeling after being held down and having a man perform Greek on me years ago without my consent and then that same CLIENT had to drive me home because he’e picked me up for the date. I also remember the sick feeling of doing a multi hour date , only the next day to go to purchase things for my family to then be told at the store the bills were counterfeit. I felt sick and violated both times and both sexually and mentally.

ANYTHING THAT TAKES A WAY THE CONSENT OR THE AGREEMENT , MAKES IT ASSAULT OR RAPE. RAPE doesn’t have to be the usual w all the violent components to make it rape. Consent has to be removed to make it rape.


With that said everyone SCREEN, be safe and pay attention to your clients, boyfriends etc and  small red flags that may be there. AND if you DON’T see the signs remember rape of any type is about control and violation , IT IS NEVER EVER YOUR FAULT. No matter the circumstance or type.

Peace and love,







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